Before I take to the waterways I think it’s responsible and ‘safe’ to undertake a course of some kind.  Yes, anyone can jump on a boat and take it out but if you don’t know what you’re doing it can all go horribly wrong I’m sure whether you’re laden with oodles of common sense or not.

Therefore, as I am not ready to die a watery death just yet, and do not want to see my gorgeous Daughter harmed in any way, I’ve booked a two day course with Terry Robertson of T R Boat Handling.  I’d had a recommendation about him from the previous owner of my boat plus I’d seen good things written about him on various canal web sites.

Not only does he ‘qualify’ us at/in/for good helmsmanship but also equips us, hopefully, with the knowledge and knowhow to confidently maintain the engine basics and other necessary regular checks etc.

In readiness we went out to buy supplies today.  A windlass and key together with a couple of nice new shiny tethering poles!

So, by 21 March Lottie and I will be the proud holders of an ‘ Inland Waterways Helmsman Certificate’!

If you’re on the K&A on 20 or 21 March, you’ve been warned! :twisted:

YEEHAAA

I’ve not been working since my relocation and have enjoyed the relatively short period in ‘holiday’ mode.  Thoughts must now turn to my securing employment in my new home Town.

I thought, stupidly, the best place to start would be at my local Job Centre.  Upon walking in the first thing I noticed was how full it was.  A real hive of activity… not job seeking activity mind!  Idle gossip by young mothers with babes-in-arms and foreign couples with toddles running riot.  Chavs giving verbal to their mates on their mobile phones and many foreign language speaking people that seemed louder than the English.

I edged my way toward the ‘help desk’.  They should rename that in a more simple manner.  Something like ‘desk’ would do as it wasn’t very helpful.

I stood in front of it whilst an elderly staff member busied himself with something… filling in a card of some kind.  A few minutes passed and eventually he said ‘I won’t be a moment’.  Many moments passed until he enquired as to what I wanted.  ‘I want a job please’ I replied.

What came next made me roll my eyes skyward and wimper.  He said ‘Right’, and swivelling round to grab a small pamphlet from behind him he thrust it forward toward me.  ‘To claim benefits you’ll need to call this number’ and he pointed to the telephone number on the pamphlet.  ‘I’m not looking to claim benefits, I’m looking for a job and this is my first visit to your job centre!’ I exclaimed.

Without further ado he beckoned his rather tall, elderly, colleague who was stood on the shop floor with a clip-board.  He reminded me of the Bus Inspector from On The Buses…  ‘Show this lady how to locate jobs’ he muttered.  His colleague looked flustered and replied that he was due to go upstairs any moment.  He indicated for me to follow him which I did.  We stood before a large computerised station when he started jabbing at the touch-screen monitor mumbling inanely about what to press.

I told him I could manage and he flounced off entering a lift to go upstairs to what ever it was that flustered him.

You’re probably thinking I sound like a right snob and wondering why I’m telling you all this.  Well, what I expected was a chat with someone regarding employment opportunities in my area.  Not to have ‘benefits’ claim information thrust at me.

So, lesson learned… I’ll not bother visiting the shop again; I’ll use the .gov website instead which I might add is far more user-friendly than their shop computer stations.  Plus I get to make tea and watch Jeremy Kyle :D

Well watching JK is a great example of how ‘NOT’ to live your life as the majority of his guests seem to be the amoeba’s of society who aren’t employed and who don’t have any direction in life except to the nearest pub.  Plus they don’t speak properly… that really gets my goat.  Well, that and text-speak on the internet.  Unnecessary and irritating to the core :D

Anyhow, I’ve applied for a part-time job in the NHS… not a clinical post, you’re all quite safe haha.  Fingers crossed I’m selected for an interview.

I’m sat here this evening momentarily glancing at the TV on the wall that tries to convey the brilliance of the box by way of the National TV Awards, slugging on my new electronic cigarette, mulling over the events of today.  Am I the only one that thinks Harry Potter looks like a drug addict?  Anyway, I digress….

Of course, as most other parents/carers, I was up early to suffer the post-dawn assault of teenage tantrums.  Everything ranging from sickly sweet seduction to intimidating threats panning out to an attempt of reverse psychology-cum-guilt trip at how I could be incarcerated for not ensuring she attended school.  And all that was just my feeble attempt at coaxing her out of bed!

Funny thing is, it’s the same bloody scenario every day!  What’s that all about? LOL.

By 8.15am we were best friends again and enjoyed the short trip to school.

Upon returning I affixed a couple of hooks in her cabin for her coat and bathrobe.  Before I knew it Bryan (Myram Carpentry) arrived to fit my commissioned bulkhead cabinets.  Two in my bed area (I can’t call it a cabin or room LOL), one in Lottie’s cabin and two in the shower room.

Whilst he was pottering about I took the opportunity to contact my private health insurer (my old job!) as they’d adorned me with 6 months post-redundancy cover and because my hand keeps going numb, my shoulder ‘clonks’ and my neck grinds (see photo) why not bloody well USE IT!

I laughed when the girl on the phone started to teach me how to suck eggs.  I’d been doing her job for 11 years; I know how it goes :D

So, I’d chosen osteopathy in agreement with my new GP (it was her that used the clunky adjective!).  The osteopath didn’t manipulate me.  She just laid her hands on me, under me, over me and round me.  I eventually asked “just what will I expect to get out of this?’  She offered that although it felt as though nothing was being done my body was doing all the work.  She’d diagnosed a trapped nerve and blood vessel leaving my cervical spine.  I thought QUACK!

Guess what though?  My hand hasn’t gone numb at all since my session!  Placebo?  Maybe… who cares… I don’t hurt so that’s the main thing.

I’m so pleased with the additional storage Bryan’s created.  Not too big but certainly roomy enough inside to take the menagerie of cosmetics and such like that have been stored in a big box in the shower-room thus far.

Half of one of my cabin cupboards has been filled with my over-zealous collection of perfumes :D

He’s back tomorrow to complete the shower-room cupboards and I’ve commissioned a further two!  An open bookshelf in Lottie’s room and a small cabinet under our TV to store our laptops and chargers etc.

Anyway, I’m back to sucking on my electronic cigarette!  At least I don’t stink of fag-buts! That’s always a bonus.  Thought it was about time I tried to kick ‘the habit’ of what has really been a life-time for me.  Since the age of 5 in fact!  Therefore, I ain’t going cold turkey dude!  I’m going nicotine replacement :D

If you’re now thinking about an electronic cigarette I warn you this… the initial cost is quite high!  You can’t nip out to the all night garage to buy supplies!  Therefore, an armoury is needed.  I paid around £140 that included everything you need plus additional cartridges and top-up liquid.  Still, that lot should last me around 3-5 months!

Catch you all later… I’ll be talking about bilge water alarms hopefully.