I was hungry… in fact STARVING!  Having just returned from a soul weekend in Newquay, where food doesn’t feature at all, I needed sustenance…  and as my Daughter had her boyfriend over I thought I’d spoil them with a meal out with no ulterior motive or ‘end’ other than to satiate my own gastronomical needs.  Big mistake. :sideways:

Bradford on Avon is primarily a tourist attraction in the main Town area.  Quaint shops selling quaint ‘tat’ together with an over-healthy collection of eateries in close proximity to each other.  I’d read about the opening of a new restaurant called Little Venice which sounded ‘quaint’!  Oooh, there’s a ‘theme’ running wild here!

On entering I noted a smallish dining area… although it looks wide it’s not very deep.  Seemingly over-burdened with furniture that looked larger than it probably was due to the size of the room.  We were greeted by a rotund woman sporting one of those fashionable black tie-round aprons who acknowledged our request for a ‘table for 3′ and gave us the choice of two.

After 10 minutes or so we were given menu’s…  We sat there for another 15 minutes and were approached by a very very young female who asked us what we’d like to drink.  I said “I don’t know, what do you have?”… I asked that because we weren’t given any wine or drink list at all.  Lottie proclaimed ‘I love her skirt’… that was the end of the compliments this evening though :lol:

She returned to take our food order… a limited choice which is usually a good sign for decent food.  I ummed and aaahed before deciding on the Fresh Water Prawn Ring.  Lottie and Damon chose Cheesy Garlic Bread.

My Prawn Ring… well, the plate was round; I guess that’s ‘ring themed’.  I was completely disappointed.  The prawns were pre-cooked with tail shells on and that’s it.  No seasoning at ALL… arranged around the plate on top of 70′s style shredded lettuce and slices of tomato.  I thought I’d seen the last of crap prawn dishes after Newquay  but no, it had followed me home God damn it!  The menu boasted creamy garlic mayo with lemon.  Yes, the mayo was creamy but I didn’t taste any garlic… the lemon was simply a quarter of a lemon on the side of the plate.  There were 4 small olive as well but again, plain and straight out of a jar; two black and two green.

We had no condiments on our table at all… I had to request salt and pepper that the girl had trouble sourcing, eventually retrieving some from a neighbouring table. We had to request a jug of water twice before we were told they had no jugs left and were given the bottle with the lid on (I could only see 4 out on tables!). Same trouble with cutlery… had to ask for some when our main course came as did the table next to us.

Lottie and Damon were equally unimpressed with their starter too.  A massive piece of ‘farmhouse’ type bread that wasn’t particularly garlic laden at all and poor old Damon complained of a complete lack of cheese.  Far too large for a starter.

Right, let’s not get it all wrong… let’s choose Pizza for our main course!  In fairness the pizza was good.  Moist with a decent topping and crispy crusts.

We didn’t bother with puddings… they all read as though they were the ‘bought in’ chilled/frozen type as served in Chinese/Indian establishments.  Instead I requested the bill.

The rotund lady was too touchy-feely in the tactile sense… almost over-familiar with people she’s never met before. It doesn’t make up for the lack of food quality or poor service I’m afraid. In fact, for me, it was almost the cherry on top of the cake insult wise. She also liked to use the statement ‘thank you for your patience’… she’s been trained in customer service for sure but come on, a quiet Monday night and you’re having to acknowledge your customers patience?

What did make me chuckle was seeing her fuss over someone’s wine order.. it was a supermarket quality rose and she got the ice bucket out, put cold water and ice in it and plonked the wine in… pulled it out again and dried it before taking both bottle and bucket to their table. She then held out the wine for their approval before unscrewing the lid and allowing them to taste it :lol:

Things that need to be addressed:

When seating us, immediately furnish us with a beverage list
Ensure that there is at least salt and pepper on the table
Be sure to have enough water jugs when you’re charging £2 for it!
Bottled fizzy drinks aren’t good if they’re flat and warm
As you’re hoping to serve 3 courses ensure you have enough cutlery on the tables
Don’t ‘touch up’ your customers
Fully train your ‘new staff’ before you let them loose on the shop floor
Employ a Chef that has a clue about presentation and taste – his chef whites looked more appealing

2/10 :getlost:

So far, the only establishment that’s been OK is the Barge Inn… I live in hope!

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